Wednesday, May 29, 2013

With Love, Jenny

Dear May,
You were the month for me.
A month of learning to let go.
A huge lesson for someone like me who doesn't like change, who hates losing things so never throwing anything away seemed to be my solution- leaving the only remaining option to misplace something, which isn't so bad-leaves things bound to be found eventually. I threw away clothes and things I had no use for, threw away clothes I'll probably never end up wearing. I annihalted any clutter that remained. I needed to know everything I had. I needed to be able to account for everything in my possession, needed to account that everything I had, had a use. And everything I owned, a space. I also threw away expectations I've had of other people, I threw away attatchments, I threw away the darkness, I threw away my fears. In other words, I threw away my heart.
Inadvertently, my heart is what I found.

May, you have been that month for me.
A month of meeting Myself, again.

I found my voice that was hiding unders piles of papers and mounds of clothes.I found my silence. I found my quiet. Took a step closer to sanity. To peace. To myself. Learned to stop waiting for someone to save me. Learned that I am my own Healer. I learned that my happiness is in my hands, and that Peace is something I create. I'm learning to nourish myself- creatively, physically, spiritually. Learning that if I love myself, I really have everything. And only if I love myself, I can really give properly in my relationships. I'm learning about Me-first. And unapologetically, at that.

Stronger than ever. Bones brimming. Heart overspilling with Light. Walking my journey with a new step. A new change. Life is beautiful.
May, you have been that month for me.