LOVE IS FORGETTING

Swept away

All the words I wrote about you in the sand.

Swept away, erased by the long arms of a wave, a wave named Love.

And I tried to remember what it is I wrote, so

I dug up the sand to find them but all I could feel for was the sharp edges of shattered seashells,  and that something red inside my chest, swelling, awakening, in bloom

The only thing keeping me alive, was drowning in your wave,

the wave named Love

the way to nowhere

i'm getting used to leaving your side
feeling like i'll never be understood
like i speak a language you've never heard and can none
the less converse in-no matter how hard i try, no matter how
many different ways and times I try to say,
you will never get me, cuz the problem is you never try
Being "right" and collecting apologies don't and won't
appease me, my one and only desire is just to be understood
to have my sensitivty and emotions respected, and why not even
appreciated, but your so caught up in your famous exilir of blame,
double talk, and your so called "constructive criticism", that with
every world you build a wall miles high, and you wonder where I went
and why I'm not by your side- cuz now I'm on the other side
but deaf ears can't hear the thunders of this heart
nowhere is a lonely place
and that is the only place we are getting

i need you to listen

I love you

I inhale you
storing all of you in a glass vial
the scent of your clothes, your sheets,
79 inches of espresso terrain,
the taste of your skin, your little climbing hairs
coarse under my touch, my name blooming from
off your lips, your watching gaze interpreting
every single one of my expressions, the brightest black eyes I've ever seen
I take you with me, wherever I go

LOST

my heart is slipping through my fingers
like grains of sand
how can i contain the warmth i feel for you

Your Ear Against My Heart

I don't ask for alot

just for you to love my crazy ways,

my erratic flight

and to let me love you large & loud

I ask that you would
protect and bless my sensitivity

instead of curse it,

because if you did,
it would be a silver kiss of cool on your lips
on a smoldering August day

I ask that because you love me

you would listen quicker than you

raise your fists

put your ear against my heart

if         you        only        even        tried

Baby

give me passion

give me relentless

lest i die

SEX & SANDWICHES

Mama always said to think with your head and not your heart. Mama says I came from a poor country to America not for you to marry a poor man. Mama always said, it’s better just to have “friends” and not boyfriends. Why tie yourself down to one man? Mama always said that the man should love you more than you love them. Mama always said the best time of her life was when she was single. Sex and sandwiches, Mama says, is all they want. And Mama always seals her little speeches with the (verbal) kiss, yea your Mama knows best.

But Mama, I’m afraid to tell you you’re mistaken. I pride myself in being someone who follows my heart. I dare follow this heart in places you’ve never allowed yours to go. I am me, because I will take the risks in love you were too cautious to take. Of all people, I will be sure to touch the heights of true love because I risk getting close enough to the flames, close enough to endure the scorching. And mama “friends” was good enough for you but not for me. The difference between us is that you are content with casualness while I am programmed for a complete intertwining with another. I would rather DIE than be with someone who doesn't know the texture of my soul or how to wrap his love around this.  Whoever told you there was something wrong and shameful about being in love, about wanting to have something singular and passionate with a man, lied to you. There is something beautiful about calling someone your own.  There is something beautiful about knowing you belong to somebody.  


So please keep your pre-cautiouns to yourself. And as for sex and sandwiches, what’s so wrong with that- maybe that's all that I want too?



LOVE & NO APOLOGIES

What I give you, is all I know of love
What I give you, is what I dream love to be
What I give you, is what I am truly looking for in
return and sometimes (that lack),
that is all we know of love.

So I give you what I know, and what it is I have
I only know to love intensely
I only know to love passionately
I only know to bridge a connection that's deep
and always flowing
I only know to give the one I love a constancy,
a strong ground from which to gain some sort
of balance, some sort of footing  in this crazy world

And all I look for in return is
to be loved intensely
to be loved with passion
to share a deep connection
and the feeling I crave so much- stability.

But what do you do when what you give feels more
like a cage to the person you love?
When they don't really want what you have to give,

what do you do?
what do you do?

when this is the only love I know to give?

Because all the life in my loving has been sucked away
My love knows no apologies

This Love Has Feet

You run
like my love is the plague,

like my embrace is a cage

You hide
 as if my gaze is a grave,

my words of love-
little assassinations

Can you handle a

passionate woman...

A woman who knows
what she wants,

And takes it

Now,

Sit and watch my love run from you

Our Snowglobe Wonderland

like a snowfall....


sudden... simply...
softly...silently...a
...silver solilquoy
magically starting off-
one flake by one flake


you close your eyes
only to see, the next time
you open them
a magicland of white


our world,
our love,
painted white

How does love grow?

delicately, slowly
secretly, in a hum
in a whisper, tenderly
deliberately,
with care, with time

Is this what LOVE is?

learning to live side by side- PARALLEL- yet in the same space- rearranging furniture to accomodate one another's movements- each other-making room - making adjustments- because now it's not just all about you- until it feelsl ike it's always been this way- like it's never not been this way-

the purpose-to feel like home

GIVE ME MY WINGS BACK

BURIED DEEP, FEELINGS I DON'T FACE
BURIED DEEP, INCISIONS I CAN'T SHOW
BETWEEN FRESH WOUND AND CALLOUS

WITH JUST A FLICKER, ALL MY FEARS IGNITE
TO SEAR THE NIGHT SKY, LIKE LIGHTNING

DESPITE LITTLE DEATHS, LITTLE ABANDONMENTS
SO BADLY I WANT YOU TO BE THAT ONE,
THE ONE TO GIVE THESE FEET SOME GROUNDING

BUT UNDER ME, THE EARTH IS ALWAYS TREMBLING,
EVER QUAKING, NEVER STILL
ALWAYS TRYING TO REGAIN EQUILIBRIUM

THE PLATES OF THE EARTH
UNDER MY FEET
EVER SHAKING, EVER MAKING CONVERSATION,
AN UNDERGROUND RUMBLING RAILROAD OF OVER-RATED EXCUSES

HOW DO YOU HIDE,HOW DO YOU RUN
WHEN IT'S WHAT'S UNDER YOUR FEET THAT YOU CAN'T GET AWAY FROM?

AND ME,LEFT WITH
NOTHING TO HOLD ONTO
EXCEPT THE EXPECTATION THAT
IT'S JUST ALL GOING TO
COLLAPSE

GIVE ME MY WINGS BACK

Underneath a sonata

of moonlight,

two shadows

shyly

pull the curtains back,

an unveiling of

the tenderest of wounds-

wounds,

that merge in a kiss,

a waterfall of kisses,

kisses that commune,

until wounds become scars